He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
