His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
