8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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