It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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