After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
