If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
