some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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