Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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