dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, beer. Big fan.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
