R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
