was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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