I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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