i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
