I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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