So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Found the puke drawer
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
