She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
