The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
