2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
