very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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