So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
