This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
