you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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