Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
