I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
