all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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