Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
