If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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