Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
