I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
