im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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