Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
