dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
