By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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