Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
