All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm always down for nudity.
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