Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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