I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
