Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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