He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
