In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
