well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
