We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
