Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
