I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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