Pants 0. Shit 1.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
