Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
