Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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