Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
