Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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