The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just cut my nipple shaving
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The best revenge is premature balding
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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